he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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