we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
