So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
