The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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