I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize