I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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