playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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