Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
