My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
