1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
