She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize