i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
