Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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