i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
