three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
