What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize