I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you didnt know i had herpes?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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