i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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