Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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