The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
