You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
