I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's blow job season.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Everyone says I win the strip club
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
