At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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