We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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