I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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