Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
