I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
