if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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