it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
