taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize