Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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