she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
