We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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