Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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