She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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