Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize