he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
