we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
