No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize