he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
