Ambien. No doubt about it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
