Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
