Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
