Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
