he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
