awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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