What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
