You really coming over, don't trick.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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