The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
