i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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