Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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