Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I will pee on everything he values.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
