I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
