Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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