ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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