i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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