Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
