Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
