Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
