I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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