did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
