I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
