bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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