...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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