i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize