If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
