He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
