what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
