Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
