id be glad to
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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