Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize