btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
