While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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